Pained Memories

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She traced her frail fingers through every scar and mark knowing they ran deeper than they looked. Yes they did.

Each scar told a story, a tale of her life; every mark a memory, a reminder of her pained past. The death of her parents, the foster homes, the abuse, secret abortions… marriages that didn’t work, the one that almost worked…his death…the surgeries….the buried secrets…the…

As details of these pained and hurting memories continued to play in her mind, she felt an unusual presence and looked up at the ghost standing before her. Tears poured down her already swollen and unrecognizable face as her worst and biggest fear was confirmed…

Even after the type of life she had lived, this was the one thing she could never handle…she could never live with this.

She reached for her cell phone as the tears continued to pour, the clouds outside her home darkened for a brief moment, almost as if acknowledging her doom…she sat back quietly waiting…waiting for the news of what maternal instincts already knew…

Her cell phone finally rang after weeks of waiting…praying…hoping…crying…waiting and more waiting…

She let out an inaudible gasp as the voice on the other end spoke…the cell phone dropped from her already frail hands crashing to the ground… her fears confirmed, she walked to the mirror…looked at herself and the ghost standing behind her….for the first time in three weeks after hearing the news of her only daughter missing on campus, Monica smiled…Lillian was the only thing she did right in her 50 years of living…her only good thing was now gone…she reached for her revolver…

Five minutes later a loud shot rang through her quiet suburban neighborhood….it awoke her 35 year old neighbor, who crawled under his bed and dialed 911…

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28 responses »

  1. I think no matter how trying a time we go through, taking your life is sort of defeatist for me. Life is precious, and where there is life there is hope. That said, I think this is a fine piece, with sad undertones.

    • Indeed, thankfully this is fiction. Unfortunately there is a lot of truth to this story, and suicide…and while some of us can see the hope in living…unfortunately and painfully some cannot.I hope though that for every hurting heart there is a glimmer of hope. Thank you

  2. If I ever decided to off myself, I’d make it creative. Like a rube goldberg suicide machine. But that’s not going to happen. People expect me to live somehow…so I can feed them…and clothe them…and pay for their college. LOL

    Great story. I think you did a great job capturing the spirit of the situation.

  3. My youngest is named Lily. And she is as her name, delicate and lovely in looks and in fragrance. Still in her protective naivete, she has powers beyond her ability to understand them, and she soothes me when she comes into the room.

    My eldest son is Graham, and he had a sweet temper as a child. Not yet three, he was discovered to have cancer, and I feared for him but I feared as much for the loss of him. He is now thirty-two years old and married.

    In spite of the pin-ball events of life, they and my other children are the greatest events of my life. In spite of the arbitrariness of life, and how individually tragic events on the surface of the pond of life eventually even out, I still wonder if I could go on were something of finality to happen to them.

    A father is not to be superseded in death by a child. That’s pretty much written in stone.

    • Your in depth comment is so moving. Thank God, your eldest son is healthy and married. I sense that youngest daughters have a hold on their fathers like no other child, I know my younger sister and I have our dad wrapped around out fingers.

      Yes, I couldn’t even imagine the horror of losing a child…too painful. My aunt lost about 2 a while back and I don’t think she ever truly has recovered. I hurt whenever i think of her and all she has been through.

      I love the last portion of your comment, yes a father is not to be superseded in death by a child…no parent ever. Thanks so much for stopping by and for this great comment. Thank you

  4. This is powerful! I think it’s great in its brevity because you’ve captured so much in so little space, but (if you’re ever bored, lol) I think it would be interesting to see this turned into a longer piece, you have great material here. Her history is painful & dark, but rich. I want to know what type of surgeries she had, how the death of her husband, the foster homes, the abuse etc. affected her in specifics. I’d like to see her earn her suicide! Also, the last image is great, with one line, you’ve made me very interested in the neighbor! Good read!

    • Thank you so much Monique, I really appreciate that. I would see if i can work on it lol, truth is i can be very lazy. A friend who i let read some of my short stories, said “i should work on writing more short stories” but it’s just easier to make the words into poems cos they are shorter lol. I will work on this though and see if i can come up with something great. Thanks so much Monique and glad you enjoyed this. Enjoy the rest of your week

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