A Poetic Moment-Friday Fictioneers 11/9

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I hope everyone is having a great week so far. Friday fictioneers by Rochelle is on and cracking (I have always wanted to say that, lol). This week’s picture is also courtesy of our host, Rochelle.

The photo prompt this week had something poetic about it, at least to me. I tried to write a short story but it reads as a poem in my opinion, so instead I am offering two poems. Please feel free to comment, and leave constructive criticisms…I really do appreciate them. And you are welcome to join in and participate. THANK YOU!

Image courtesy of Rochell Wisoff-Fields

I. A POETIC MOMENT

A poetic moment richly crafted in this window sill
Ice adorning cold glass frame like heavy lace stitching

Nature’s Christmas day décor

Golden bulbs reflecting bright light
From within

A pseudo sun
In December’s gloomy freeze

II. FROZEN (WINTER’S ICE)

In the unquiet of my world
I stay frozen
Winter’s ice on the window of my soul
Once tender, now ice cold stone

My eyes recognize nothing
Unloved they remain
Yet without disdain
They stay transfixed in this season
Cold and lonely without hope

Beauty stands no chance
Forever going on unseen

Springs’s rebirth a myth
In this heart and eyes

Frozen with and over time

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64 responses »

    • Absolutely!!! Yet sometimes when one is afflicted, hope seems like such a distant thing, at best a myth…but i agree after winter regardless of how dark and somber, spring in all its beauty still comes :).

      Thanks so much

  1. Wonderful! I agree that both are wonderful. And there is something about the second I love:

    “Beauty stands no chance
    Forever going on unseen.”

    Nice double.

  2. Wonderful poems, Boomie. but I am in love with the second one. Well done. I am out thsi week too, because of poor connectivity and other reasons. I will be coming out shortly on those reasons.:-)

  3. Dear Boomie,
    I enjoyed both poems. However I found the first to be a nice little narrative while the second brought tears. It’s very close to the poem I wrote 20 years ago that inspired my story. I hope this poem isn’t true for you.
    Shalom,
    Rochelle

  4. Boomie,
    Sorry it took so long to get here…It’s been a crazy couple of weeks with Sandy The Super Storm. I have another name for her but I’ll keep it to myself.

    “My eyes recognize nothing
    Unloved they remain
    Yet without disdain
    They stay transfixed in this season
    Cold and lonely without hope”….seems to me to be the heart of poem #2, smack square in the middle where it belongs….and I love the last line “frozen with and over time” a perfect change in rhythm… it brings the whole poem to a nice halt. Lovely young lady just lovely!

    Tom

    • Oh not at all. I am so sorry about the Sandy, and i dont blame you if you have another name for it. I really do hope things get sorted out soon…glad you are alright in the alive sense of things.

      Thanks so much for stopping by to read, and commenting i really appreciate it. It’s amazing that the second one is the popular one this week, and to think i almost didn’t share it because i wasn’t sure about it. I am glad we do this fictioneer thing, it sure is helping my confidence.

      Have a great, great week. Thanks so much again for stopping by. God bless

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