The truth about myself: A story on self-hate

Standard

 photo2

I am learning to accept myself
But I hate my stretch marks
And the irritation they often cause
Although they are reminders of a joy that now completes me
I am learning to accept myself
But I hate my small boobs
And the big thighs that rub too
Although they make me look good in blue jeans
I still can’t wear short shorts
Or skintight dark jeans
I am learning to accept myself
But I hate my big butt
And the way it pops out of every dress and begging always to be seen
Although it frames me in pencil skirts
And long gowns that flow in summer’s sun
I am learning to accept myself
But I can’t stand the thoughts
That my legs are marked with spots and dots
Hanging thick in black boots
And falling short with mini skirts
Although I must confess they carry me far
On long walks and fast runs
And my dainty toes sure look good in flats and such
I am learning to accept myself
But my hair sheds at the sight of comb
And itches from the root up
Although they are as dark as late nights and
Fall fine to cover my freckled face
I am learning to accept myself
But…

© Boomiebol 2014
5/17/2014 9:38am

 

About these ads

24 responses »

  1. Boomie, this cuts to the heart of the truth that so many people feel to some degree or other. In my experience, women dislike their bodies more, but I certainly have a lot I dislike about mine. I like that you framed each one with something positive about it too. This is a real work of art.
    -David

  2. Wow. What a great poem. I think we all feel like that, inadequate, not good enough…the irony is we will look back on photographs in years to come and say ‘Damn, I looked good back then….if only I had known’ But of course people did tell us and we choose to ignore them because we don’t look like the person on the front cover of the magazine, who thanks to photoshop and digital alteration does not look like the person on the front of the magazine either. :)

  3. Oh my. You are such a beautiful woman and very talented. No one sees what you see. They see someone lovely inside and out.

    Why are we so hard on ourselves? Is it the ads with models and the movies stars we are exposed to every day? If we had 24-hour professional lighting and make-up artists in our entourage (we all have one of those, right?), we’d probably look like movie stars too.

  4. Very well written and there is much positivity between the lines as I read it… :-)

    I could never dream of asking a girl about how she thinks she looks – women have tons of qualities and in many ways smarter than us men – but self-criticism isn’t something many women are good at – they overdoing too much… :-) ;-)

    Women can describe how men look
    – and let us men do the other way around… :-)

    By the way you look great and your bottom are yummy… ;-) ;-)

    Wish you and yours a wonderful sunday… :-)

  5. It’s a well written poem, and I can understand how you feel!
    As I age, I look in the mirror & sometimes I think I’m starting to look like Hulk Hogan!
    But… “lol” You (we) look fabulous! :-) (sheesh!)
    What about my butt? Someone once said…”It’s a spread you could raise a herd on”
    As of today, no cows have moved onto my butt! :D
    Do you know who Jean Harlow is? She was the blonde bombshell of her day! Today she wouldn’t get onto the lot.
    I blame mediocrity and mass marketing tunnel vision $$$ for our “eye of the beholder” loss of the true beauty we all possess, moreover it’s our right to possess and they have taken that away, too.
    So, my very beautiful friend, be a rebel, and do not buy into the plastic fantastic mandate of our corporate world’s selling of beauty! Hugs and kisses and warm fuzzy wishes!
    (I’ll take my own advice her, as well!)

  6. Oh you manage to be so honest, so lovely and – as you do so often – you manage to be erotic as well! I think we all feel you’re so beautiful not just as the woman you are but as the wonderful personality you have too. This poem, with its painful honesty, is just a small reflection of the love and devotion we who follow you here have for you Boomie. Bless you my friend – you’re a star :)

  7. You are BEAUTIFUL. How can you not be? You are my Twinnie! :)
    You have the most fabulous smile & are hot, hot hot. I’ve seen pictures ;)
    And – your wonderful spirits screams the beauty from within.

    I wonder about my outer appearance sometimes too-
    especially – the hormonal issues that impose on my face. YUKKO!

    xoxo

  8. Boomie! You are awesome and self acceptance is probably one of the toughest things in life but you are great and for every negative, I bet you I could find at least two positives. Beauty is in the eye of the beholder and the comments here back that up my friend so take heart because perhaps you are a little myopic when it comes to yourself…

  9. When you turn 51, like me, you learn, you learn — hahaha! You see you have no choice — hahahaha! It’s the beauty of being old tee heeee!

  10. It is hard to accept oneself. I don’t any real problem with the way I look but I still relate to your words… even when God says you or I are beautiful and made in His image… it can be a mighty struggle to believe it. Thank you for your words- they, like you, are beautiful.

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out / Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out / Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out / Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out / Change )

Connecting to %s