I had done my post for the day, and was looking through old writings when I found this. I was contemplating if I should post it or not. My girls woke up from their nap just in time to give me an answer. They started driving me bananas. I knew there was a reason I saw the note after all. I sat them on the bed with me, and we looked through their 3 day old pictures.
Those were the quiet times, and to think then that I thought things were loud and rough. Alot has changed since 2009, but my love for them has remained constant only growing with time.
A Mother’s Reflections
On the 3rd of December 2009, at 11:59am, Twin A was born; a short minute later at 12:00 noon, Twin B came out. Twin A turned out to be OluwaPonmile Kayla Erinoluwa; Twin B is our little diva OluwaPekunmi Jordan Okikioluwa.
This was almost a year ago, as I ponder over the past year; I am amazed at how much my life as changed as an individual, and how my world has been impacted. I have come to have a new level of respect for the female gender, I cannot but think about all the single mothers out there, and how they make it happen. I salute and respect their courage, strength, and the grace with which they raise their children.
Over the past year, I have missed my mom, and ached for her more than ever before; I have longed for conversations with her, advice on how to handle the change that has come. I think I have had more dreams of her than ever before. I have learnt more than ever to cherish the little moments that we have with our loved ones, I am learning not to take them for granted.
In this year, I have discovered my own strength, limits have been tested, and I have flip flopped several times, from patience to impatience, and then back again; from screaming in my head to laughing like a hyena. I have been pooped and peed on; I have mastered the art of nursery rhymes, and can recite several in a heart beat. I have learnt 3-hr sleep, even though I wish I could sleep for 12 hours; if wishes were horses right.
I yearn for quiet times, and so I take drives and run errands as much as I can; but I can’t wait to get back home. I look forward to the smiles and excited faces that await me. It feels like a reward for just being me. It feels like I matter to them, it feels like LOVE.
I want to do better; I want to make a difference; I want to live right; I want to do right by the girls. Sometimes I don’t know if I can; sometimes I don’t know how I will, but I never seize to ask for strength from the One who gave them to me.
Who am I that God would consider me worthy? Who am I that he would so graciously bless me with such treasures? I don’t know that I have answers, but I am certain, he has been so much to me and mine; simply because he is God.
Biodun and I are forever changed by December 3rd 2009; I know the change is good. We miss the quiet, “us” time; but we cherish what we have now. We often thought of ourselves with all humility as giving; I dare say the past year has taught us what it means more than ever before to be unselfishly selfless.
As the girls turn one, I pray God for a special birthday present from the One who can give life, the one who made their conception and delivery possible; I pray he gives them wisdom to fear him; grace to walk with him, courage to trust him, and more than anything the heart to love him. I want them to live the life that he has for them because only then can they fulfill destiny.
I want the girls to be kind, compassionate, and loving. I want the girls to be who they were meant to be. They are so alike, yet they are oh so different; it’s amazing how they can be a minute apart. I want them to be best friends.
I am thankful to family, and friends for all their love and support; I doubt that we could have done it without them. I am thankful to Biodun, for supporting, encouraging, and loving me; I am thankful for the father and daddy he is; and the one I know he can and will become.
I am thankful to my dad, for being my dad. I can’t wait for the girls to call him grandpa; I can’t wait for them to meet all their aunties, uncles, and cousins.
I write this with sincerity in my heart and tears in my eyes, I am thankful to God for making me a Mother. As ‘Ponle and ‘Pekun turn 1; these are my reflections.