All I have

Standard

Every year I honor you
The only way I know how
In my heart and
With my words

And when my heart is
So heavy
So full…
It hurts

The words I fight
Pour out
and with pained heart
and teary eyes

I write…

If I had known how short
It would be
If I had known how hurt
I would feel
11 years and counting
If…

Like the words from what
would have been your 70th

All I have are the ifs
And so today even as I think of you
And convince myself I am not sad
My eyes are blinded by glistening waters
That fall from my eyes to my pad
And I know I carry the pain always in my heart
For I miss you more than I could ever show
More than I dare to show

If for one moment I could
See you
hear you
feel you
touch you
hug you

If…

All I have are the ifs…
And memories too short
I break down and weep

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15 responses »

  1. Honey, let me just say that this is superb! You have managed to reach deep and tug at the heart…relating to anyone who has felt loss. I applaud you! What a wonderful piece! Just perfect in my opinion! Brava! xox

  2. You have a real talent for this. I should have known before I arrived at the comments that some of my favorite writers here on WordPress would have found your work. This is gripping and I feel honored to be allowed into your heart long enough to empathize with your struggle. Brava!

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