Untitled: Insecurities

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Sometimes even as I’m writing
I think to myself
Darn I’m brilliant!
And I better
Right…
Or not

Still I continue to
Push harder and
Amaze myself
Everyday

But then

The words of that professor
Mr. Prick that’s what I call him
His arrogant and ignorant words
Come rushing back
And the darn insecurities set in

Still
I keep writing all the while
Hoping one of us is wrong and
I am truly brilliant
Just like I think

Except
The darn insecurities cripple me
From the very depths of my insides
Their long and crooked arms reach out
Grabbing my spirit
My soul and
Very essence

Every chance they get
They emerge
Attempting to cripple me
From the insides

And so with eyes closed I seek
Encouragement albeit the last
I reach within my innermost depths
Past the crippling insecurities
And pull out a boost
The little bit of stimulus
I can find

Dad’s wise and
Ever timely words
Mommy’s face in another
Dream smiling and beaming
And this time I can reach out and
Almost touch her …almost
And
As she fades away
My spirits are lifted
Knowing I am right

I am brilliant in my
Own little way

And so with my new found pecker
I write and post these things
Hoping 1 or 2 people agree
With me and
Think these words
Are worthy of their time
Like or comment

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27 responses »

  1. This is beautiful! 🙂 It’s indeed helpful to think of those who genuinely believed in us from the start at times when we’re in danger of losing the little confidence we have in ourselves. Beautiful.

    • Thank you so much :). Indeed very helpful. I am going over to your post from today, I read it earlier but had no time to comment :). Thanks again, have a great weekend. Hugs

  2. 🙂 Oh those professors! 🙂 I love the way you write, I still remember the first one of yours I read.:) Always looking foward to your posts,
    Jennifer

  3. *stands up* And I agree with Boomie!! *fist pump* *clap…………..clap……….clap……clap…clap*

    Mr. Prick can…. kick rocks 🙂 loved it.

  4. The hearts you stir & the blood you boil make you a different person&usually only different persons are criticized, so enjoy Mr. Prick’s words because they mean you’re not like anyone else..
    Have a peaceful weekend

  5. Great post Boomie. How often I think just this, “darn I’m brilliant”, but maybe not because he/she doesn’t think so… excellent way to capture people’s insecurities brought on by others, and many times by our own mind.

    Have a great weekend sweetheart 🙂

  6. I enjoyed this one very much, Boomie Bol. It’s intense and no doubt a universal and internal struggle that most creatives discover. When the insecurities try to poke their little heads into my world, I remind myself of a very important question. Do you write your words for them or do you write them down for me? The question obviously to myself because it’s easy sometimes to forget why we write and, of course, we each have our reason(s). Thanks for posting this. It was a reflective poem and I always enjoy those.
    ~RDS

    • Thanks so much for the kind comments. I agree with you, we need to remind ourselves why we write. While insecurities abound, I am learning to push past them. Glad you enjoyed this, thanks again. Hope Mom’s surgery went well and she is off to a great recovery. Enjoy the rest of the weekend 🙂

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