Like, Coment, Follow

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Lately, I have come across a bunch of posts and comments about liking and commenting on posts, I read a nice one yesterday by Randall Dean Scott, http://www.randalldeanscott.wordpress.com check it out if you can. I also read a comment last week about liking a post and not getting a like back. And these thoughts came to my mind and I decided to share.

I must say that I, like many other artists and writers seek support and validation. To have someone tell me “my work is amazing,” give me a nudge to keep up the good work. I think it is human nature, but does it really matter if I get that or not?

It’s great to get good support, feedback, constructive criticism and all that but should that be the deciding factor in our work or is it the reason why we write and post the things we do? Or better yet should we let it bother us as much as it does?

Some of my supposed “closest” friends have never been on my blog and does it suck? Yea!!! Do I care? Honestly NO, not anymore… For the small lot of them that hasn’t read or visited my blog, I have been blessed with thousands more that have.

And on the issue of “likes and comments;” if I like a blogger’s post and comment and he or she doesn’t do the same, is that reason to be bothered? Honestly, I don’t think so and I don’t see the big deal. I like or comment because I have a response, not because I want them to come over to mine. I choose to follow blogs because I choose to and offer my support as best as I can but I don’t do it to have them come over my blog or follow me. If they do great, if not; all is still very right with the world.

I come across new blogs while reading other people’s blogs and I click their links, read, like and/ or comment, even follow if I choose. I don’t do it for them to come over to my place, and often times they don’t. I still follow, read, and support. Would it be great to have them return the gesture, yes but that’s not my reason for following, and it’s not why I am on this forum.

As Randall said in his post we all write for different reasons and yes we are sensitive to our craft but we must find inspiration within ourselves to keep at it. Like, comment or not! Writers and artists in general can be too modest to the point of insecurity, a big example ME. But even I know there are times I am writing poems and stuff and I tell myself damn! this is good, then I post and the response is low, and my heart sinks but then I remember my sister’s words “you have to believe in yourself, and your work. It’s not a popularity contest.” And I get back to doing what I need to be doing.

We all write for different reasons, and must never lose sight of that. I know why I write and why I chose to put myself out here like this, and I can honestly say that I have achieved 75% of that reason. For me to be able to come to the point where I can write a post like this and actually mean it…yep indeed I am finding myself, and I like it.

So amazing bloggers of wordpress don’t let the “like button or comment box” deter you from the real deal. Remember the real reason you put your pen to the pad or type away at the keypad and let that be your motivation and validation. And if many likes and comments accompany that, then all well and good.

And with anything in life really- “forget the validation, keep at your craft.”

Best wishes…

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105 responses »

  1. EXACTLY !!! I too write for myself and if someone likes fine if they follow ok if they don’t that is quite alright too. My heart, mind and soul usually go into what I write but I don’t need validation even though it is appreciated. Now I love giving boosts to other writers just for the warm fuzzy it gives me to appreciate another’s efforts. Hugzz my friend {{{}}}

    • So true, I read some of your posts and I think a million people should be liking this, but it’s not about popularity as with everything in life. Keep writing, I will keep supporting and reading, And I appreciate your support.
      For me to be able to actually write and publish this particular post…I have come a long way, and I am thankful for that. Thanks for always

  2. I already stalk – I mean follow you.
    I Liked this post & now I’m commenting. I know – I’m being a smart-ass.
    You go with your natural writer self. Rah, Rah – I’ll cheer for you 🙂

    • Rah Rah…Johnny Depp needs to find me quick so I can honor you the best way…making you my maid of honor cos Lord knows I could never show how much I appreciate you enough…but if you are my maid of honor, You will know how I love you so…:). Johnny where are you? Lol, thanks Rosy. You are my new inspiration with your daily smart and uplifting posts…glad you decided to do this

      • Hello, I’m in Marrakech, Morroco, the wi-fi is awfully bad so it’s difficult to do anything. I’ll try to find somewhere in town during the week, to ue internet.
        I’m in the land, not in town, beautiful but not easy for a bloging addict.

        Concerning your post, I don’t often comment blogs even if I like them, party because I follow many many blogs. But as we say in French, le coeur y est. Let me tell you that I like your blog much, it’s very inspired and inspiring.

        Bye.

      • Oh nice :)!!! What’s happening there? Are you on vacation? Take lots of pics and share :). Thanks for stopping by dear.

        Merci pout tout le soutien. Bissous, have fun!!!

  3. Approval from others is nice but it should never matter, it should not be the source of motivation. If it were, many successful people and businesses today would not be. There are many disapproving voices but we all have to remain driven by our own selves, our own dreams and our own goals. We agree with you, what moves us has to reside within each of us, otherwise, we would crumble.

    • Thank you!!! Yea, I guess we all like validation but after a while really it can get old and some become routine really. Sometimes, I comment and sometimes I don’t but I always try to like to at least acknowledge that I read the post. Thanks for stopping by as always :). Have a great night!!!

      • Oh absolutely, I guess my point was after a while our constant need for validation becomes tiring to the ones that give us said validation and even ourselves…comments are great, like you said they reveal something new :). Enjoy your Tuesday

  4. A lot of people just go “like” things just so they’ll get more eyeballs on their own site. That’s what bothers me. I’ll put up a fairly long post and within a minute or two I’ll get somebody clicking that like button. There was no possible way that they had time to read it. I even put in the middle of one of my posts “Do NOT like this post. If you do I’ll know you didn’t read it” and I still got half a dozen of them. I quickly unfollowed those people. It’s fake and it’s BS and I don’t have time for that. Anyway, keep writing and doing what you do. Bonjour.

    • Thank you for the honest comment :). I must say that I have been guilty of likking a post…because i am online at the time, that being said, I will read the post later in the day…i usually dedicate about an 1 or more to reading posts and all that. But in the time it comes accross my face, i scheme through, get the gist and like, then go back to read and if i want i then comment. In fact i did something like that last week except this time i actually read the post, but the writer said, she expected a comment, I told her I had things to get to and was on my way out when my phone beeped, I read and liked quickly to acknowledge reading and will comment later :). There are blogs I subscribe to that post about 10 long things a day, before i was reading them all, honestly now i can’t keep up so i scheme through some and read others and leave feedback. I feel you though about the fake and BS…I guess we all just want support :). Thanks for stalking you on your blog later in the day :). Have a great tueday.

    • Yes, I agree. Most people do stop by and like stuff to get more traffic at their sites. I get a few of those, and truthfully, if I like their blogs, I follow nonetheless.

      I blog because I needed a hobby. And I did (for the longest time) stay up really late reading, commenting and liking; then I found that my regular job was suffering from the late nights. Now that I don’t read other blogs as often, well, I don’t get as much traffic. Go figure.

  5. Well said, Boomie. But I guess the human need in us to feel loved and accepted cries out sometimes. Really, it does not bother me at all if I don’t get comments especially from friends. The truth is that most of my friends and contemporaries do not know about blogging and what it means much less how to go about commenting on someone’s blog. And come to think of it, when did I start it myself? LOL! Some of us (me included) here are so averse to ICT, except to type our reports for meetings and FB. Ha ha ha! Those of us with the talents will keep on writing, anyway. Thanks.

    • You know, my ‘life’ friends don’t know about my Nifti blog either. But I’m starting feel like I want more non-bloggers following, reading and commenting on this blog. When I started Nifti Talks, I enjoyed all the attention from actual bloggers because my other blog never got that.

      • Yea that would be great to have non bloggers, because then it exposes our works to the “outside world” I didn’t even know you could have followers and all that when i first started this lol..

      • Yeah, haha. Me neither. When I started my other blog, I didn’t visit any other blogs, so didn’t get that traffic. But I did get traffic from the ‘outside’ world. Luckily, what that did was get me plenty of facebook ‘likes’ and followers on the page. And I like that too 😀

      • Lol…even initially when I did some “amazing post” they were amazing in my opinion no one liked em lol…so I liked all my posts myself LOL

  6. Well AMEN to this! 🙂 Personally, I am generous with appreciation. When I like something I push that button or comment. And to be truthfully honest, there is a lingering thought in the back of our minds that they might do the same to us, but that wasn’t what pushed us to do what we did in the first place. It’s the JOY of appreciating something, someone. If only people could be more generous with that then there would be happier people walking this earth instead of the cynical ones. But we just keep doing what we do and eventually (I hope! 😉 ) people will do the same. This is a great post, Boomie. Thanks for keeping us motivated. :*

    • Thanks for always supporting me :). I am a fan of your very clever posts, i could never think or write like that lol…I am too obvious for my own good. I am with you on this comment, in your heart you think or hope they do the same but honestly it’s not why I comment or like…some bloggers are always going to get a like and comment from me cos they supported me in the first few weeks when no one looked at my work…there are times I like even when i don’t get the post just to acknowledge i read it and then i go back later and read again if i have the time…Yea, we can only keep doing it and hope they or other people show us love. Thanks for the kind comments, and for keeping me inspired. Comments like yours push my faith higher up knowing I am doing what I should be doing, now if only I knew how to make money off of it…lol, i guess that would be another post to consider. Have a great day dear.

      • Hahahaha…wouldn’t that be a dream, Booms, to do what we love doing (writing) and get paid for it? ahh, heaven. 😀 You should do that post, you know. And THANK YOU for always supporting me as well.. 🙂 hugs hugs hugs. Have a great day yourself!

      • A big dream come true :). I would think about something to that effect, of if you come up with something :). Thanks, will do

  7. I’ve been thinking this same thought. I try to read all the blogs I follow and make comments when I have something to say. I would love to get more comments and more people to read. But if not it’s not going to stop me from writing. I laughed when you mentioned your closest friends don’t read your bog. My closest friends don’t read or comment on my work either. They click like when I post on FB but I know they didn’t read because if they read some of my writing they would make comments. I really don’t care because I too love to write so I will keep on writing. I also know some people hate to read. Any way I thought this was a great essay.

    • Thanks for stopping by to read and comment. Yea, the support is important but regardless we must continue to write, if it delights our hearts. Keep writing!!! Will be over your blog in a bit. Your comment is highly appreciated. Thanks

  8. well said. i try not to allow either praise nor critisicm sway me. My s/o stalks my facebook page daily, but doesn’t even view my blog, it doesn’t bother me, this place (WordPress) is where I visit for my healing and inspiration, as well as show parts of myself that remains hidden to others. I visit WordPress often, most times with nothing to say, I just want to come read, like, comment, and follow those I feel will be essential for my growth.

  9. Excellent post! Before I was overwhelmed by the need to just flow earlier today, I was going to write about this exact thing. I’m reading a Buddhist writer’s handbook that sings home that question: why write? I find the minute I worry about impressing my audience, is the exact moment I’ve lost authenticity. Your last sentence sings ~

    • You said it Angela ” the minute i worry about impressing my audience, is the exact moment i’ve lost authenticity” I always say words can be anything- crude, funny, smart, silly, intelligent, smart, anthying but they must always be authentic. Thanks for this great comment, and many thanks for stopoping by :). Have a great wednesday

  10. Pingback: The Blogger In Me « Candid Concourse

  11. This post is amazing! I learn so much from it. Thank you very much for reminding the genuinity to always be part of our nature, my lovely friend.. 🙂

    Subhan Zein

  12. I’m blaming my Reader function for not reading posts. It seems like not all the blogs I follow show up there – and since I unchecked the notifications when the notification feature went haywire, I don’t get any updated via email either. Aaaaanyway, I’m here now, and I have to admit that I appreciate the comments I get on my posts a lot, I appreciate the insights and perspectives other people have to offer, but first and foremost I write for me. 🙂 To keep myself sane-ish.

    • No worries at all…a lot of people have complained about not getting people’s posts via email. I guess we need to call wordpress’s attention to it :)”. Thanks for stopping by and I have been enjoying your very honest and insightful posts. Keep up the great work, and have a lovely day 🙂

  13. Great post. This reflects just how I feel about likes and comments. It’s easy to get caught up in blog stats, and thoughts of popularity and praise/critcism, but it’s good to remind ourselves of why we write/create/do what we do.

  14. Thanks for exploring this topic. It helps to hear others thoughts on this things. And you are RIGHT – it’s about the writing most of all. Have a beautiful day!

    • Thank you, and you are correct. The comments are great for feedback but we must never use them as our ultimate motivation. We must always remeber why we do the things we set out to do. I will and you do the same :).

  15. I like this: “you have to believe in yourself, and your work. It’s not a popularity contest” and this: “forget the validation, keep at your craft” Great words of wisdom. Thanks for sharing them with us. I also can relate to close people in my life, not checking out my blog but I’ve realized that giving support to others is much more important than receiving support. Also, when you give support from a genuine place (without the expectation of receiving), you get even more support in the long run. Funny how the Universe works… always teaching us lessons. This is something I learned along the way that blogging is about a community and not about just about me, me, me. Glad I found you on Candid Concourse. Look forward to reading more of your work. 🙂

    • You make a great point, its more important to give support than to receive….and i think if we can do that sincerely…we would be able to find validation in ourselves…glad you found me, so i could find you. Thanks

  16. Great thoughts revealing your inner feelings.You write so cutely and with a bold straightforward approach. I agree with you , all bloggers should follow these simple ,lovable and practicable “Rules and Guidelines”awesome.Keep it up dear

  17. Reblogged this on Jodie's Journey and commented:
    I really like what Boomie Bol has to say in this post. It reminded me of what is important, and what some of my readers(Christine, Cruel Intentions, and recently Boomie Bol, herself) have told me about not allowing fear of judgment,lack of feedback, or likes get in the way of your craft. I hope you enjoy my Thursday reblog. 🙂
    Jodie

  18. As usual Boomie, great post here. If only it were this easy for me to write, I’d have written this first 😀
    Notice, I ‘liked’ this BTW before coming back (now) to read.

  19. Pingback: Thanks to all my followers « A Daily Thought

    • Thank you!!! Trying to go to your blog but it’s not coming up :(… Will keep trying. Thanks for stopping by, and taking time to comment, I appreciate it. God bless!!!

  20. Thanks for the mention, Boomie. You make some very good points here regarding the likes and comments as well as the reasons behind why we write. Enjoyed this. Thanks again.

    • Thanks Randall, I am one of your biggest fans :), because when no one looked at my work, you did, and showed support…I appreciate that always. Plus you might not remember this but you wrote something in one of your comments on my post “keep writing” I have never forgotten that, I hope never to forget or to stop writing. Much appreciation always!!!

      • I think I take for granted the words that I write and speak because I never realized having such an impact as you speak of. Thank you for saying that. It means alot to me. I know that “alot” isn’t a word but I’m tired and have to work tomorrow and my brain is tired. Looking forward to your next entry and yes, keep writing. 🙂

      • I aprreciate “alot” :)…Stay strong, and hopefully you got some rest before work…thanks again always Randall. Have a great rest of the week.

  21. Great post! I’m reblogging this, because you said it better than I could have. I’ve been thinking about these things a lot, too. I’m pretty new at blogging, so I’m not getting that many likes or comments yet, and I sure know the feeling of thinking I wrote something way cool and hardly got any hits! 😀
    The thing is, I started blogging because I’m writing a book and trying to get the word out, so I think I may be a little more anxious than some of you who are doing this for other reasons. 🙂

    • Oh I understand you, my first few posts that I thought were really good, got little to no attention lol..but a fellow blogger commented on my post once and wrote “keep writing” I haven’t stopped since…I am hoping a publisher somewhere will see some of my work and be interested…i find the more i write the more i get to my inner self and know this is what i want to do…keep writing and I would keep reading. And when your book comes out, i will be sure to support you. A few bloggers out here with books already. All the best, and many thanks for always stopping by.

  22. Yes, yes, yes. Over here on poeticlicensee, approximately 400 posts & comments await review; intend to acknowledge, sooner or later; this is dependent on other demands of every day life; preference would be to sit here & write, write, write poems, poems & more poems. But, then of course, maybe a 1,000 more posts & comments would rest in the WordPress In Box. Tee! Hee!

  23. Wise words, Boomie. Like you, my nearest and dearest do not hang out on my blog but becoming a blogger has opened a whole new world to me. I enjoy sharing my art and reflections and the discipline of posting regularly. It is a buzz when someone visits and takes the time to leave a comment.

    • I agree with you…I am here to write, find myself and hopefully connect…likes and comments sure are an added bonus :). Thank you so much for stopping by, have a great week

  24. Speaking as someone who reacted to you liking one of my posts by looking at your blog, liking it and following it, I think you’re absolutely right. When I started blogging I responded to just about everything in kind, but that way lies imprisonment in endless e-mails. Now sometimes I see that someone has liked one of my posts, check out their blog and find very little to interest me – which doesn’t mean it isn’t a great blog fascinating to other people. I think, “I’m really pleased this person who isn’t obviously interested in poetry or whatever, and seems quite different to me, liked my post” and I hope they’re not offended – but generally they’re liking a post rather than following my blog, so there shouldn’t be a problem.

    Friends not following my blog is no problem to me. The friendship wasn’t created by blogging and doesn’t depend on it. Moreover, some of them are very busy people and I’m not exactly wallowing in spare time, but I am retired.

  25. What a refreshing way to look at this whole world of blogs. I’ve felt the same thing you mentioned – some of my own favorite stuff gets little attention, and sometimes the stuff I just throw out there haphazardly gets tons of ‘likes’, etc. It’s easy to lose focus on the real reason we do this.

    • You are so right…many of my old posts have only likes from me and 1 or 2 other people but lately I have been getting likes…still if the tide changed today, I am alright with that. I am doing this for reasons greater than likes, comments , or stats and though all these things are great…it isn’t why we write or why we should write :). Thanks for taking time to read and comment on this one. Have lovely weekend!!!

  26. Pingback: leaders & followers | 100 days 100 ways

    • Hi Erika :)!!! Thanks so much for stopping by and for the follow. Been a busy weekend but Lord willing tomorrow I will be by your blog to show some love. Have a great evening.

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