I Think Of Him, I Weep For Him

Standard

I could be selfish and
Cry about it all day

I am her child and
Even though grown
I miss and need her so

No pity party
I just miss her so much
On some days and
Today is one of such days

My heart aches for her and
No matter how hard I try
The high walls I built
Hiding the years
Tears and fears
Crumble

On days like this
I shake
Tremble and shiver
From pain and sorrow
As I hear my heart crying for her

I could be selfish and cry all day

But then I think of him
Her husband of forty something years
And wonder how he does it
How he keeps it together
Staying strong for us all
Knowing his heart hurts and
His voice trembles every time
He thinks about her or
Tries to talk about her

And instead of crying
About missing mom
When I really do…

I weep for dad knowing
He misses her more than
He dares to show

* I first wrote this 5/4/2012 at the gym; I was feeling this way. Unfortunately, I find myself feeling the same way this morning, and try as I can to post or write something different…this is where my heart is…and so instead of holding it all in, I am sharing in hopes that I will feel better*

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46 responses »

  1. Tis not pity when you grieve, crying and feeling sad is a way to cleanse our hearts and souls on our way to becoming stronger. You shall do this many times over and it is a testament to your love for your father that you recognize his pain as well. Absolutely a beautiful write. Thank you for sharing! Hugsss((())) xxx

    • Thank you so much Len and i appreciate your understanding…I think when it all happened, i was busy trying to be everyone else’s hero, which is what i always do and neglected my own feelings…unfortunately these days with so much going on in my head, i wish i could have her to talk to me about some of them. Big hugs back :). How’s your week so far?

  2. Absolutely beautiful Boomie. Very selfless too. But he’s got you, and I’m sure he finds solace in your love and support. Wishing you hugs!

  3. no matter how old we are, we still feel like orphans when we lose a parent. My sympathies, and may you think of a precious moment shared between you two when you feel down.

  4. this was my first read this morning, kept it with me all day, ’cause I knew I wanted to say something to comfort you, but the words wouldn’t come, still won’t come. I’m reading this for a 4th time today & all I have to offer is a moan & a prayer, that can be a comfort too, right?

    • Oh I’m sorry I did that to you. Truth is I struggled with this post but yesterday I was too overwhelmed and I couldn’t write or post anything else beside what was on my heart.

      Thanks so much for reading. How’s the book coming along?

  5. Pingback: Awards and Blog Recommendations « Candid Concourse

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