Friday Fictioneer 6/8/12- Via Madison Woods

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Every Wednesday Madison Woods posts a picture prompt to challenge all who are interested, to create a 100-word story or poem. This is my first attempt and I am very nervous…the many pressures of peer pressure :).

Thanks to http://brainsnorts.wordpress.com/, http://prosingon.wordpress.com/ and http://theforgottenwife.com for encouraging me to participate. Please feel free to crtitique and analyze away.

Again this is my first attempt, let me know what you think.

After many years and series of misfortunes, Awa was now in the land of milk and honey. It had taken all her savings but finally she escaped the horrors of her homeland.

She had nothing to her name, and felt lost but Awa remembered mama had mentioned God a few times, so she said a prayer to this God for a sign, and with hope she walked out of the airport…

Her first steps on Nebraska grounds were shaky…she looked towards the heavens…there above her was a strange object flying in the air…

A sign…Awa smiled…

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65 responses »

  1. This is beautiful you know?!…you really need not to be nervous…the #FridayFictioneers gang is a collection of writerly folks out to help and better one another’s writing skills…and here, you’ve got an absolutely great head start!
    However, you’ve jumped the gun this time…be sure to post a link to this blog soon after Madison woods comes live…that’s actually when yours should go live too, but no harm is done either ways!

    • Thank you for stopping by, a bunch of folks posted theirs yesterday so i thought i might as well. Glad you enjoyed this and thanks for the follow. Have a great weekend!

  2. Great job! Hey I noticed Nifti’s comment about it being good to be a good year. Does this have some significance other than the obvious? Glad I found you after reading Rich’s take on the prompt.

  3. I really liked this! So much hope. My only thought is the repeat of finally in the first paragraph. Maybe take one away to make it flow a bit smoother? Welcome to the group! (I didn’t manage anything from this photo at all.) Nice work!

    • Thank you so much, and many thanks again for the encouragement and help. I am really excited that i did this :). As per next week, I won’t make promises but will keep an open mind lol. Thanks again and have a loving weekend

    • Thanks so much…i just read your and really liked it. I am so impressed by how everyone comes up with such amazing writes and no 2 is ever same…thank you so much for the kind comments…i will see about expanding…truth is sometimes i fear i might get too wordy and do shorts or poems instead :). Thanks for stopping by and have a great weekend

  4. Hi Boomie Bol,
    I liked the hopeful feeling, and Nebraska. I want to know more about this person, where she’s from, what happened to make her want to come to America? Nice lead in! One tiny quibble: if she knows about airplanes, weren’t blimps around first? I admit they are rarer today, and one of today’s children from a non-advertising-mecca might have missed seeing them. Anyway, nothing much to worry about. The feeling in the piece is very strong and enticing.
    cheers,
    Laura

    • Oh thanks so much Laura for stopping by and for the comments…I will work more on her story. Truth is Awa, the character in this story could esaily be me or any other girl that moves from one of the many rural parts of the world… her first experience on the plane was this trip to Nebraska…perhaps, she had seen rescue helicopters fly over her village a few times, but never seen a blimp…even if she knew of them, she wasn’t expecting to see one as she walked out of the airport…truth be told, i don’t think I exactly knew about blimps growing up even though i knew of airplanes lol…Will work on a little background information to this story and share if i come up with something intelligent :). Thanks again for stopping by, please come back soon. Have a great weekend.

  5. I like it. It takes the balloon into a totally different context.

    Of course, on meeting a balloon in a different context, there are certain magic words one has to remember, but it is permissible to say them sideways.

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