The New Character- Friday Fictioneers 7/13

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Every Wednesday visit Madison Wood’s site to see the picture prompt for the week’s 100-word writing challenge. Write a 100-word story or poem that’s inspired by the picture. Post the writing on your blog. On Friday post a link to your blog entry in the comments section of her Friday Fictioneers post.

This week again, I came up with a poem and a short story all under 100 words. I was only going to share the story but I really like the poem…As always feel free to join in. Critques and comments are welcome. Thank you!

Many thanks to Madison for these challenges, they are helping creativity flow. The short story is titled “The New Character” the poem ” Ready” Enjoy :)!!!

“Buzzard”

THE NEW CHARACTER (99WORDS)

“Mommy what’s that in the picture? A buzzard, right? “Jimmy asked

“Why yes son…how do you…?”

“I knew it… he responded before his mother could finish speaking. It’s the name of the new character on True Blood…the one I was trying to remember.”

“True Blood?!”

“Mommy, a show about vampires and their likes…I bet they got the name from this picture…one of the characters flew from a dry tree like this…same posture and everything…killed a girl with one peck. He was a shifter.”

“Jimmy!!! Where did you watch this show?”

“Mommy look Mrs. Lexington is at the museum too…”

READY (75 WORDS)

This is me
A lone and little black bird
A predator to some
Always ready for the kill

My wings spread
I am always prepared
Like a boy scout

Ready to fly
Ready to soar
Even when all seems bare
And wickedly dry

I am always prepared
Prey or target in sight
With my wings set to fly
I am always ready for the kill

Nothing phases me
I go in for the kill
Every time

I am a lone and little black bird
I am always ready

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65 responses »

  1. Hi Boomie Bol. Love the story. you obviously know about kids! Wasn’t sure who Mrs Lexington is but I suspect she is someone whom parents need to know about if they want to stay one step ahead of their children.

    Also just wanted to say that I really admired what you said in your profile… ‘Finding me- I have always played it safe, too unsure and timid for my good. Now, I have decided to come out of my shell, open myself up to life, and my purpose, and share my writings; I hope I find an honest audience.’

    Opening yourself up to life is a lifelong process and does take courage. Keep it going. You can’t but help find an honest audience when you open up.

    • I know i have said this too many times…but every time i have reason too, it is true. Your comment just warmed my heart…thank you so much. Yes i am beginning to learn that it is a lifelong process…i remain a work in progress, but i like what i have found so far, i pray and hope it only gets better.

      Thank you so much for stopping by my blog and taking time to read and comment. Yes, i am assuming Jimmy is only 10 or maybe13 and his mom doesn’t approve of shows like True Blood…he must have let his mouth run too long and let it slip so mrs Lexington’s approach was a fine distraction from what mom would have said next lol…

      Thanks so much again, have a lovely day

  2. Kids seem to be smart enough to figure out how to do the things they aren’t supposed to, but stupid enough to keep their mouth shut about it… weird.

    My only criticism- you used quotes in the first two lines, but not the others.

    • Oops didn’t see that, thanks so much. Will fix it right away.

      Yea kids are too smart for anyone’s good and yet so stupid it can be rewarding lol. Thanks SO much

  3. Hi Boomie: Enjoyed the story. This kid is real and comes alive. You left us wondering who Mrs. L is at the museum. The poem for me was just ok…repetitious with the same words. Would have liked to have seen more variety. Have enjoyed your other lovely poems, so I know you can do it. I’m #14 on the list.

    • Lora,

      Thank you so much for this honest critique and comment. You know after i made corrections on the story as pointed out by Adam (I forgot to put quotes on some parts of the conversation). I read the poem and thought…too repetitive, but didn’t want to bother with it.
      Reading your comment, I decided to work more on it, I will update it in a few…i guess you win some, you lose some :). I really appreciate this, and if you get a chance later please check out the updated version…should be done in another hour or so and let me know what you think.

      I really really appreciate this :). Will be by yours in a few as well.

  4. The story was very amusing, with the child finally realizing he had said too much!!! I liked the poem as well, but it’s not quite as inspired and “alive” as the story. I really admire that you did both!

    • Thank you so much. Yea i don’t think i did justice to the poem like i would have liked to.

      Thank you so much, thankfully there is story is somewhat better lol.

  5. I like it. The thing about the creative words we have written is that we frequently want to go back and change this or that, make it a little more poignant, magical, if you will. Sometimes the original draft really does well to stand alone. Although I’m also guilty of wanting to refine and (from my perspective) improve upon the written word. Your words and poetry in sync in a moving way.

    • Thank you so much. Yea i think the poem needs some more work but i really like it…i guess i really like the message i was trying to portray but need to work on it better so that it feels just as great on paper or screen as it feels in my head :).

      Big hugs to Emma for her very kind response to my comment. She is a very lovely young lady.

  6. Boomie, I enjoyed the “Ready” poem so much, and the Black Bird character. It made me think of Poe’s The Raven a bit, but to be honest you took it in a whole new direction, creating a bird who is both predator and prey potentially. You are a potent mixture of vulnerability and strength.Really Awesome piece!

    • Oh you flatter me, but i will take it :). Thank you so much, i really appreciate it. I think I have read Raven before but i will check it out again. Great to “See” you here, thanks always

    • An amazing distraction no doubt :). I am thinking perhaps daddy is responsible for this unsuitable education :). Always safe to blame the daddies right? Lol,thanks so much for stopping by

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