Friday Fictioneers by Madison Woods is up and running, and this week’s image was provided by Maggie Duncan. Many thanks to Maggie and Madison.
This week I came up with a fictional story of about 108 words. Feel free to check out Madison’s site to participate, and as always comments, and constructive criticisms are welcome. Thank you!
Image courtesy of Maggie Duncan
The mist continued to blanket the skies and open fields as our leader instructed us to keep our hands raised in worship. Even as the weather and discomfort intensified, Farouk said “god” was in the air and we would soon see his face in the clearing…
My sister and I were sweating like pigs as feeble hands raised for over an hour had started to tremble…
Things got worse when the children began to drop like flies…our hearts skipped beats like scratched record players when Farouk asked that we ignore what was going on…
“god needed the demons out before he showed…” he said…
My sister’s tiny body hitting the ground was the last thing I remembered…
Boomie Bol 
Loved the feel of this piece. Cults are cruel beasts.
mine is here: http:rochellewisofffields.wordpress.com/2012/08/22/escape/
Thank you so much. I am almost at yours
The foreboding is tangible!
Indeed! Thank you
Your story is ain indictment on all those who pervert religion and twist it for their on nefarious ends. Beautifully told in vivid words. Well done, Boomie. Mine is here and linked too: http://readinpleasure.wordpress.com/2012/08/23/fridayfictioneers-light-on-the-hill/
Thank you so much, indeed they pervert religion and faith…I enjoyed yours, was a nice trip down memory lane 🙂
Wow…how do you do that in so few words?
Thanks Lily :). Honestly I don’t know…thankfully I can be lazy, so i only think in short stories i guess lol
A great take on the prompt – very vivid. I wonder if the first sentence would work better as two – with a full stop after ‘worship’?
Thanks for visiting mine.
I will see to it now, thanks so much Claire. Very much appreciated
oooh, cult activities perhaps? Just another reason I don’t trust religious organizations.
Yea they sure give religion a bad wrap. Thanks Carrie
Forcing people past their physical limits and blaming them for collapsing – now there’s the face of evil! What an awful situation for children to be trapped in. You do a great job of building the tension as the story goes on 🙂
Thank you so much, and how scary is it that some of these things are true…i hope anyone in such situations have their inner eyes opened to the truths around them. Thanks again for stopping by to read
This captures cult activity perfectly.
Well done Boomie.
Thank you so much Elyn. Great to “see” you dear. Hugs
Oooh – nice write!
Cults are so warped in their way of “thinking.”
Yep…warped is the word. Thanks twinnie
Well done, Boomie. I can’t help but wonder how someone could allow themself to be fooled into following a cult. Just something I’ll never understand I suppose.
Thanks Adam. Yea, I often wonder as well. I think many of the leaders know the weaknesses and fears of the people the prey on and take advantage of that. Unfortunately, many of these people are too caught up in trying to find help or hope they can’t see they are getting into worse situations than they started out with.
What a creepy cult. Wow! Such a different use of the prompt, but I love it!
Creepy indeed! Thank you so much Susie, very glad you enjoyed this
Wow! Striking imagery encapsulated in a few sentences! Loved it.
Thank you so much aunt Sandee :). How’s vacay going?
This is a powerful story of the realities we have seen in the United States as elsewhere. Sad stories of people getting caught up in mixed up, misinterpreted theologies of those that the Bible describes as “wolves in sheep’s clothing.” Good images of real people here with real life fanatical leaders. Very well done.
You are so right…people continue to prey on others weaknesses, fears, search for knowledge. Thank you so much
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Thank you so much!
this reminds me of revivals growing up in the church….you really brought up old feelings and new revelations for me here
Thank you much TBA
Good night! I knew from the title it would be intense and it was. The last few sentences made me feel anxious. Great job.
Thank you so much CC
Some scary truth there!
Scott
Unfortunately. Thank you much
Amazing work Boomie — you are incredible in the span of writing style you can tackle!! This so reminded me of the play “The Crucible” — My daughter played ‘Abigail Williams’ in her high school’s drama performance. It is amazing how the mind can be influenced… this was powerful!! xo
Thank you always Robyn, i agree the mind despite its strenght can often be so eaily manipulated.
I. was. there! excellent writings, Boomie!
Thank you so much Stacy
Wow. Very different for sure. Did one this week. phew.. : http://niftitalks.com/2012/08/23/misty-eyes/
Thank you so much Nifti, these prompts help me to write things i doubt i would otherwise write. I enjoyed reading yours and glad you did it this week
the danger of false prophets! Was that sister a twin?
Indeed, so many of them out there. I did it from the older sister perspective, but it could have been a twin…these false prophets would pick on anything to manipulate and get their message across.
agreed — they feed on insecurity
Absolutely!!!
I’m gonna have nightmares.
Nah…I am sure you won’t thought these things and acts are what nightmares are made of
*though*
Scary what can be done in the name of faith…very powerful and genuine.
Mine is here: http://erinleary.wordpress.com/2012/08/23/flash-friday-fiction-13/
Thank you so much, going over to yours now
Oh the things people do in name of God and Religion…what a brilliant story
I tell you Soma, the things people do…Thank you much! Have a super great weekend
An excellent piece. Well done.
Thank you very much, very nice of you to say. Have a great weekend!
Reminds me of many of the news stories and documentaries I’ve seen over the years about cults and their ‘rituals’, really well done Boomie.
Here’s mine too: http://womanontheedgeofreality.com/2012/08/24/friday-fictioneers-misty/
Thank you so much. Yea, those things are scary and the acts they engage in are unbelievable
Unbelievable but they still happen – it’s an odd contradiction isn’t it … I guess we’ll just never understand them 😉
Dear Boomie,
This was well done and I can only second all the supportive and cogent comments your piece received. Very well done. Religions will be the death of all of us.
Aloha,
Doug
Thank you so much Doug
Well done, again, Boomie. Reminded me of the Kool-Aid cults of yester-year.
Yea, heard about that…very cruel and downright evil. Thnak you
Oooo! Cruel and frightening. Jim Jones comes to mind. I guess as they all one by one fall off they’ll meet God.
They sure will…yea, I have heard of him before…
He feed hundreds of people a purple kool-aid and killed them under his mus-construide beliefs.
Did he drink it himself? How cruel and unkind
I echo all the positivity in these comments. I think i stopped breathing half way through… goes from frightening to heart wrenching with “My sister’s tiny body hitting the ground…”. Very nicely written.
Thank you so much Rachel…those cults are so frightening
scary-you were lead on a different path on this one-much as I was. beebee
Thanks Beebee, we sure were
You lure us right into the heart of your cult and it’s not a comfortable place to be. Well done! There’s a bit of a mix up on tenses throughout the piece, for example “F said “god” was in the air and we WOULD soon see his face (or IS and will if you prefer, but not was and will).
This definitely feels like part of a long story – I wonder what’s going to happen to the ones who dropped…
I’m over here; http://elmowrites.wordpress.com/2012/08/24/friday-fictioneers-far-afield/
Thank you much for pointing out these errors, very much appreciated.
The evil men do! Complete madness.
This is great, Boomie. A brilliant piece of writing. Really enjoyed it.
http://mysocalleddutchlife.wordpress.com/2012/08/24/the-haar-ff-240812/
Thank you so much. Indeed the evil they do all in the name of religion and god…very glad you enjoyed this. Thanks much
Great take on the prompt with shades of Jim Jones, Moonies and Scientology … all frightening brainwashing cults. Question…is there a reason you didn’t capitalized the G in God? I’m here: http://www.triplemoonstar.blogspot.com
I just always associated these cults with gods…i believe in God, a good one, and he is never what is described by these cults…off to yours now. Thanks so much for stopping by
Oh dear. Very plain but scary!
Yep those things are scary…thank you so much!
I love this…..makes me want more…… well written Boomie…..
Thank you so much Abi. Very nice of you to say
Beautifully done. At first I was going to quibble about “god” should be spelled with a capital “G”. But not this God. Perfect! I am #60 but I just moved everything here from blogger to wordpress. Hope to read more of your writings in the near future.
Thank you so much, yea these sorts of god in my opinion are small gs’. Very nice of you to stop by and glad to have you here on wordpress. I liked the history take on your story, well done!
So strong and so scary to read (having been there, minus the children dropping part thankfully!).