A Room For Mommy- Friday Fictioneers 10/05

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It’s that time of the week again. Friday fictioneers by Madison Woods, and this week’s photo is courtesy of Raina Ng. I saw the prompt yesterday, and I thought oh wow! This is just lovely, and immediately wrote something…but then the dark side of creativity took over, and I don’t know that I can share that story.

Anyhow, my offering this week is a short story. Please feel free to comment, and offer constructive criticism. As always you are welcome to join and participate. Prompts like this help the creative juices flow. THANK YOU!!!

Image courtesy of Raina Ng

Enid looked at the magazine one last time, as she kissed mommy’s forehead…“I promise to buy this for you” she whispered, “just get well soon, please!”

Mommy could barely move. Her body frail from sickness and penury was feeble, and debilitated. However she managed to mumble incoherently.

Two days later, in her sleep she passed away in Enid’s tired arms.

That was 15 years ago.

Now, a successful surgeon, and cancer advocate, Enid looked at this room dedicated to mommy’s memory in her sprawling suburban home.

She was a long way from her lowly background. If only Mommy was here to see it all…the success…the room just like in that magazine…just as she had promised…

A cold breeze blew gently warming Enid’s heart. She smiled softly…

Enid could feel mommy’s presence!

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82 responses »

  1. very pleasant thoughts. here’s a grammar tip —

    words like “Mommy” sometimes get capitalized and sometimes don’t, depending on their usage. if you write “my mommy” or “your mommy,” referring to the word as a title, then it does not get caps. if you write “Mommy, what time is it?” and use “Mommy” in replacement of a name, then it gets caps. for example, if you can remove “Mommy” from the sentence and put a name instead, then it gets caps.”

    in this sentence: “If only mommy was here to see it all” if her name is Diane, you can replace mommy with Diane, and it works, so then mommy must be capitalized here.

  2. This was a sweet but melancholy moment for me when I read your story Boomie. I lost my mother to cancer when she was 38 and I was 14 and quite often, at the oddest moments, I feel her presence. Thank you so much for this story. 🙂

  3. So beautiful. Blessings and Peace to you. My father passed away just five days ago. Thanks for this gorgeous melancholy piece of writing. It warmed me and made me smile. I’m thinking of the gentle peace of my father’s presence. Love and Joy to you. Stay happy.

  4. This is the work of a brilliant mind. 🙂 It’s so beautiful, and touching and sweet and sad. You write so well, boomie. I miss reading your blog. It’s great to be back here!

    • Oh beautiful Sassy, you have overwhlemed my heart in a loving way with your very kind comment. So nice of you to stop by always. I know how busy you are, so i really appreciate your visit today.

      Thanks so much dear one. Sending big hugs and love :). Great to see you back here, can’t wait to read your wonderful proses.

  5. Loved this, Boomie. Sweet and powerful. How would that sentence feel if instead, you wrote something like: “Enid knew Mommy was there.” Just an idea. Thank you for this great piece!

    Cathy

  6. I totally agree with Kd. I warm, loving tribute to mothers and the promises we should all be so fortunate to make good on. This one made me smile!

  7. I always enjoy it when time shifts are handled well, so good job on that! I’m interested to know more about their relationship now – like why the room was something her mother would have specifically wanted. Great writing!

    • Thanks so much Brian. Perhaps, they made memories in the little kitchen they had…maybe they saw the room in a magazine, and mommy feel in love with it, wishing she had one like that…so many possiblities i guess lol.

      Thanks so much for reading

  8. The touching part that got to me was: “She was a long way from her lowly background. If only Mommy was here to see it.” I love the idea that she had succeeded and moved up in life. You know her Mommy would be so proud of that. Wonderful work. Boomie, I know you also love to write poetry, but I :LOVE your prose,.

  9. I’m another for whom this strikes a chord with the loss of a mother (though not the rest of the situation). It made me think about how loss is different for everyone and yet has elements that are the same. Nice writing.

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