It’s that time of the week again. Friday fictioneers by Madison Woods, and this week’s photo is courtesy of Raina Ng. I saw the prompt yesterday, and I thought oh wow! This is just lovely, and immediately wrote something…but then the dark side of creativity took over, and I don’t know that I can share that story.
Anyhow, my offering this week is a short story. Please feel free to comment, and offer constructive criticism. As always you are welcome to join and participate. Prompts like this help the creative juices flow. THANK YOU!!!
Image courtesy of Raina Ng
Enid looked at the magazine one last time, as she kissed mommy’s forehead…“I promise to buy this for you” she whispered, “just get well soon, please!”
Mommy could barely move. Her body frail from sickness and penury was feeble, and debilitated. However she managed to mumble incoherently.
Two days later, in her sleep she passed away in Enid’s tired arms.
That was 15 years ago.
Now, a successful surgeon, and cancer advocate, Enid looked at this room dedicated to mommy’s memory in her sprawling suburban home.
She was a long way from her lowly background. If only Mommy was here to see it all…the success…the room just like in that magazine…just as she had promised…
A cold breeze blew gently warming Enid’s heart. She smiled softly…
Enid could feel mommy’s presence!
Boomie Bol 
So sad yet sweet and moving at the same time. Wonderful piece!
Thank you so much Lily!!
very pleasant thoughts. here’s a grammar tip —
words like “Mommy” sometimes get capitalized and sometimes don’t, depending on their usage. if you write “my mommy” or “your mommy,” referring to the word as a title, then it does not get caps. if you write “Mommy, what time is it?” and use “Mommy” in replacement of a name, then it gets caps. for example, if you can remove “Mommy” from the sentence and put a name instead, then it gets caps.”
in this sentence: “If only mommy was here to see it all” if her name is Diane, you can replace mommy with Diane, and it works, so then mommy must be capitalized here.
Thank you so much. Off to correct now. I really appreciate this!
Thanks a lot
This was a sweet but melancholy moment for me when I read your story Boomie. I lost my mother to cancer when she was 38 and I was 14 and quite often, at the oddest moments, I feel her presence. Thank you so much for this story. 🙂
I am so sorry LuAnn. May she continue to rest in peace. Glad you like the story too. I lost my mom as well 11 years ago…
Very glad this was a tad bit sweet :). Hugs much
Beautiful writing 🙂
Dear Boomie,
A lovely story and one sure to tug at the heartwstrings of many who have lost loved ones in their lives.
Aloha,
Doug
I agree! Thank you so much as always sir. You always write the nicest comments :).
So beautiful. Blessings and Peace to you. My father passed away just five days ago. Thanks for this gorgeous melancholy piece of writing. It warmed me and made me smile. I’m thinking of the gentle peace of my father’s presence. Love and Joy to you. Stay happy.
I am so sorry about your father. May his soul continue to rest in peace. Very glad this warmed your heart, thanks so much for stopping by
Thank you ❤
So touching and sweet. I like that Enid became a success. Well done. Mine will be out tomorrow or later in the day. 🙂
Thank yiu so much Cestone. WIll be by yours then :).
I love this touching story. In such few words, you’ve captured a moment. Great job!
Thank you so much Ms. Jolyn, always appreciated!
No problem. Thanks for sharing your words so much.
Again Boomie you are tugging at heart strings with this one. Love that she gave such tribute to her mommy!
Thank you so much Len 🙂
One of the best you’ve written lately, full of emotion. Thank you.
Oh thank you so much sir, and very nice of you to say
Really could feel the depth of emotion here boomie…. excellent imagery combined with feeling.
xo
Thank you so much as always Robyn
I like what you did with the photo, Boomie. Extraordinary.
Russ
Very nice of you to say sir. Thank you!
Success, Boomie. Thank you for sharing.
Thank you always JK
Boomie Boomie Boomie…you are a magician…sad and so beautiful …you rock sista
As do you sista. Love ya Soma
Very, very moving.
Thanks Susan 🙂
Sweet and very real… Beautiful take on the prompt!
Thank you so much, very nice of you to stop by.
Wonderful, Boomie! I like how you captured the mother’s presence in the room. I kind of think of that. too, when I look at the picture.
Thank you so much Amy.
This is a beautiful story Boomie, tugs at the heart. Well written. xxx
Thanks Red 🙂
This is the work of a brilliant mind. 🙂 It’s so beautiful, and touching and sweet and sad. You write so well, boomie. I miss reading your blog. It’s great to be back here!
Oh beautiful Sassy, you have overwhlemed my heart in a loving way with your very kind comment. So nice of you to stop by always. I know how busy you are, so i really appreciate your visit today.
Thanks so much dear one. Sending big hugs and love :). Great to see you back here, can’t wait to read your wonderful proses.
Loved this, Boomie. Sweet and powerful. How would that sentence feel if instead, you wrote something like: “Enid knew Mommy was there.” Just an idea. Thank you for this great piece!
Cathy
Thank you so much Cathy! Will see about that, i really appreciate the feedback.
A beautiful story – Very touching xoxo
Thanks twinnie
Hi Boomie,
Nice hopeful tale of how love and longing can bridge even death. Nicely written! Ron
Thank you so much Ron! I enjoyed reading yours very much today!
Funny how the kitchen evokes thoughts of family and love. Your’s is touching and full of love.
I know right! I think a lot of us made memories witho our parents in the kitchen, or perhaps the kitchen was the meeting place for many people.
Thank you so much!
Very sweet and very realistic!
Scott
Mine: http://kindredspirit23.wordpress.com/
Thank you so much, very nice of you to say
That’s a really touching story..
Very kind of you to say. Many thanks!
Very nicely done.
Thank you very much!
Beautiful 🙂 and gave me goosebumps.
Thanks a lot Raina 🙂
Touchingly sweet, Boomie.
Thank you so much. Going over to yours soon
A touching story of loss, grief and moving on. What a precious tribute to her mother. Nice work, Boomie.
Very kind of you. Thank you very much, heading over to yours soon.
Very lovely, very nice piece. Strikes a cord with anyone who has gone through a similar experience.
Thank you so much. Very glad you enjoyed this!
A sweet little tribute that those of us who’ve lost our mothers can relate.
Thank you so much!!!
I totally agree with Kd. I warm, loving tribute to mothers and the promises we should all be so fortunate to make good on. This one made me smile!
I am very glad John. Thank you so much!
Hi Boomie Bol,
Very touching. I felt a slight chill as I read the end!
best,
Lorelei
Thank you so much for reading and for this comment. Glad you enjoyed it
I so love this – what a lovely heart you have
It reminds me of how I feel sometimes, about all the things my mom missed in my life–I lost her when I was 39
I am so sorry! Yea I know how you feel! I lost my mom almost 12 years ago now and I didn’t get to do many of the things I promised to do for her. Thankfully my dad is still here, so I’m doing all God allows me to do :).
Thank you so much! Have a wonderful thanksgiving
thanks so much – it is hard isn’t it – but your story was so good
It sure is. Thank you so much!
I always enjoy it when time shifts are handled well, so good job on that! I’m interested to know more about their relationship now – like why the room was something her mother would have specifically wanted. Great writing!
Thanks so much Brian. Perhaps, they made memories in the little kitchen they had…maybe they saw the room in a magazine, and mommy feel in love with it, wishing she had one like that…so many possiblities i guess lol.
Thanks so much for reading
A very moving, touching story, Boomie. I really liked it.
Thank you so much. I really appreciate you saying so.
The touching part that got to me was: “She was a long way from her lowly background. If only Mommy was here to see it.” I love the idea that she had succeeded and moved up in life. You know her Mommy would be so proud of that. Wonderful work. Boomie, I know you also love to write poetry, but I :LOVE your prose,.
Thank you so much. Yea I think her mom would be mighty proud.
I really appreciate you and your kibd support so much!
Thank you!
I’m another for whom this strikes a chord with the loss of a mother (though not the rest of the situation). It made me think about how loss is different for everyone and yet has elements that are the same. Nice writing.
Very glad you enjoyed this. Just stopped by yours and i am certain many moms with teenage boys get it. Thanks so much for stopping by!
Very nice. Loved the ending. Her mom did know about the success after all.
Very nice of you to say. Thanks so much!