Too Late- Friday Fictioneers 12/28


I hope everyone had a wonderful Christmas, and great holiday. Friday fictioneers par Ms. Rochelle is on again, and this week’s photo is courtesy of Jean L. Hays. This week I have come up with a short story, comments and constructive criticisms are most welcome. Please feel free to participate in this writing challenge. Have a lovely weekend, and many thanks always.

Image courtesy of Jean L. Hays

Image courtesy of Jean L. Hays

The coffee wasn’t the best in the neighborhood, but the service was excellent, and it helped that the girl of his dreams, Sandrine worked there. Alec spent many mornings sitting and peering through the window of Fulton Coffee house…he dreamed of holding her…loving her…but was too shy to say a word…

Today however, he had written a poem from his heart… words of affection for the waitress who made his heart skip three beats at once…he had stayed up all night to write it…

Sandrine came rushing in, smiles all about her freckled face…”Maman, Éric m’a demandée de l’épouser” she said flashing a giant diamond on her dainty finger…

Alec’s coffee mug crashed slowly to the ground…


81 responses »

  1. Oh man! That is so sad… well not for Sandrine, I guess. Nicely done, Boomiebol. I would get rid of the ‘note’. I don’t speak… is it French… but I got the drift. I think the astute group of writers you are associating with will know what has happened.

  2. She could have made whistles and clicks… need for the translation. Some one is lost and playing games here…Not sure who I feel worse for the clueless clown or the misleading waitress…
    Good stuff Boomie.


  3. Dear Boomie,

    I loved your story. It conveyed the eager anticipation of new love and the heartbreak of realizing it is not to be. Must take issue with your use of the words ‘slowly’ and ‘crashed’ in the last sentence. I kind of get what you were striving for, but I think it would have been better simply without the word slowly. That having been said, I’m sure you no doubt put it in there on purpose both for your creation’s look and feel and to see whether I was reading.



  4. Oh, poor thing. My heart sank when I read that.
    I guess it shows that we must not waste our time, if we want something we should make our move quickly. If not someone surely will.

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