I am Coke and Fanta
Decorated by charred tiger stripes
The Cola I get from mama
The decorated stripes from (my) daughters
It is almost unbelievable that in a few weeks, I will have 8 year old daughters…ha. I am but a child myself or at least so it seems…yet here I am writing notes to you, Ponle and Pekun as you both approach age 8…it feels like such a big number, and you are both excited…
For every minute I have been a mom to you, Ponle, and Pekun you are both the best things I could have ever done or dreamed to do…
As I sit here pondering what to say or write, I find myself at loss for words because there is so much I want to say yet I want to just be silent and bask in the joys I see from you both.
As you approach 8 and continue on to what I pray is long, happy and healthy years, my desire is that Grace leads you through these young years as it has brought you thus far…that confidence lights your path as you approach teenage years… confidence so bold and brave, you are certain of who you both are and face any adversity that being a teenager brings your way…the pressure however great, a winnable challenge for you both…
I pray that your young and adult years are directed by humility of purpose and passion…kindness and strength…I pray you lead and live peaceful, joyful, and content lives marking every aspect with intention and purpose…
Oh the joys, your lives have been and such gratitude because despite the challenges of motherhood, you are both blessings that no doubt give me strength to continue…
Ponle, you are funny, silly, smart, kind, thoughtful, and all kinds of wonderful…to think I thought you were daddy’s girl…only for the last few months to prove me wrong…our bond has grown beyond comprehension and I am so proud of our budding relationship…
I enjoy you asking for the longest kisses and pecks ever while begging to retaliate with what is even longer kisses and sneaky tickles…the laughter that oozes out of your tiny body is contagious and gets me every time.. I cannot help but remind you that I love you and you counter with loving me more…
Ponle you light up my heart just as you do any room you walk into…I look forward to strengthening what I can only imagine is you becoming mummy’s girl and taking my side every chance you get(no competitions with daddy😊).
I love how your face lights up when you talk about your day, and friends…the loyalty that dances in your eyes when you remember a silly joke you all shared is gratifying and I couldn’t be prouder when your teacher discusses your progress and leadership skills…
Your subtle reminders to Pekun that you are older by a whooping minute is funny…and your expression as you state the not so obvious is even funnier…like get with the program folks 😊.
If ever for a minute you doubt or worry about my love for you…please be rest assured in these words…PONLE I LOVE YOU…not just on days when the sun shines and all seems right in the world…but even on Monday evenings when I am tired, and out of breath from a long day’s work…and you hungry from a long day of school and activities just want to skip a proper dinner and order fries…I LOVE YOU even when I am screaming on cold Saturday mornings because you are throwing a most annoying tantrum and refuse to put your coat on…
I LOVE YOU, Ponle even when we have conversations about being quiet and calm at bed time, but somehow you find something else you need to say… if ever the doubt creeps up please be reminded of all the different times I love you…simply because you are Ponle, and my world would be nothing if you weren’t in it.
You are my pride, my joy, and absolute treasure…smiles light my face because Grace has just started with you…your absolute best days are ahead of you and together we will celebrate the ups and learn from the downs…I continue to enjoy being your mom and remain forever humble.
I wonder what age 8 has in store…if it is any indication of what the journey has been so far then we are in for a great blessed ride…HAPPY BIRTHDAY MY PONLE…I LOVE YOU MORE (no contests).
Pekun, you are sweet, smart, mature, hardworking, funny, sometimes silly often serious yet all kinds of wonderful just like your sister…you both are so alike even when you aren’t trying… or not getting along…
Over the last few months, you have grown into your own person and continue to amaze and impress with your desire to learn, help, and be everything you can be…your laughter after an attempt to be serious and educate us is delightful and I enjoy teasing you in the most affectionate way…(I know sometimes it comes off as annoying)…
I love being your mom, and I am so proud of the leadership skills you portray every chance you get… your subtle confidence and immense kindness is admirable and my prayer is that life doesn’t taint the innocence that births this…I want you always to remember that you are brave, and bold…fear is nothing compared to the magnificence of the God living inside you…trust him always… and you will see that he is bigger than the fears…
I hope you smile more and let your brightness continue to shine… I pray you grow into a strong, passionate, and confident woman embracing every blessing you have been given…gosh; I hope you always find joy in every opportunity and keep worries far from your sweet heart….
I LOVE YOU Pekun, and many times you remind me of myself…except you are a better version…like I wrote to Ponle…if ever there is a flick of concern about how much I love you…please know this…my love for you is unshaken even when you are crying and trying to get your point across…I do not think less of you and I appreciate your vulnerability and sincerity…I just want you to be as tough as you can be…
I love you on days when I ask your sister to be quiet and she finds something to chatter about, and you both end up facing the wall or going to your rooms( it’s not fair, I know)… I love you when you run to your room after I have scolded you and you ask to be alone ha…I love you when you can’t make up your mind quick enough and my patience is wearing thin…they are just toys Pekun, pick one already😊.
I love you on Sundays when you just want to be lazy and play all day, calls for piano practices going unheard, and I especially love you when at night all is quiet…you ask for a book and an extra minute of back rubs…silent kisses gracing your forehead as I assume my soft I love you is unheard under the steady breath of your snores…a sweet smile forming for a easily missed second…I LOVE YOU PEKUN…
Ponle, Pekun you have both grown into your own young ladies and will continue to grow so help us God… please know that your sweet and kind natures are not marks of weakness or our inability to raise tough girls…on the contrary…kindness I have found is the hallmark of strength even in the face of adversity…attitudes determine altitude and even if it feels like the meanies are having their day in the sun…the great always outweighs the bad…you are tough in your own way but in a world of aggressions and brazen characters…sweet, kind, and thoughtful outweighs all…you are not second to anyone but always treat everyone with the same level of kindness and respect you expect from them…God has got you both in and out…
My prayers for age 8 are many yet simple…that you grow into what God has planned for you…sound minds, good health, and great characters all around…continue to be you, bold, kind, happy, responsible, respectful, and more…
Your best days are ahead of you both…Grace is making sure of that….
And just because it could never be said or written enough…from the depths of my heart and the pit of my being…I LOVE YOU…
Age 8 feels so grown but you are forever my cold December Thursday noon babies… always and forever even when you start getting too cool for pick me up and piggy backs…you are really too old for them now, but not cool enough to stop asking for them and guess what I love it 😁.
I could go on but for now…happy 8th birthday…here’s to many more happy healthy and blessed years.
With tears in my eyes and contentment in my heart…I hold these sweet moments in my eternity and never take them for granted…kisses from my lips to your hearts…safely tuck them away for always…
God bless you…Amen!
I love you more
It is amazing how time flies. We all know and say this but I am not sure we completely comprehend it. Time is truly fleeting.
As I drive to work today, I remind myself that it is the girls last day of kindergarten, and like last night I get emotional.
Any sane parent will tell you “oh gosh that means they will be home all day every day the entire summer, or they will go to summer day camp which is quite a fee.” Either way, it is not quiet around the house. “Can school continue all year round?”
However, as I drive to work it feels just like a minute ago I dropped them for their first day, and cried as I walked back to my car. Wishing I could take them back home with me and just protect them… Keep them my babies forever…
Well kindergarten is over and they have grown so much… Learnt a lot and are so proud.
In between missing tooth, fiery desire to wear dresses on cold winter days, and we never watch TV tantrums, I am emotional knowing this milestone marks them growing, and slowly moving into the real world… And I can’t take it… They are just babies after all…
Last night as I tried unsuccessfully not to think about this, I wrote individual letters to their teachers Mrs. Miller, and Mrs. Rubin thanking them for everything. They truly are the best as are teachers in general.
The girls are fortunate to have had such excellent teachers as part of their growing years. And while, I am emotional because using sad is too gloomy, I try to focus on all they have accomplished these last few months, and manage not to burst into wails…it doesn’t help that I am going into work…
They are blooming readers, writers, and artists. Pekun is super sweet with amazing maturity, and leadership qualities. Ponle is, well Ponle lights up a room with sincerity, innocence, joy, and her humble confidence is a fantastic delight.
Their accomplishments remind me that they are growing and need to grow; it also leaves me sad because they are no longer my “no anymore, ok” babies. They are becoming young girls and my pride in who they are becoming leaves emotional… And so as I drive to work and ponder on their 6 years, and the last year of kindergarten I cry like that first day back in August.
I cannot but thank their teachers again and of course their wonderful Woods Creek School.
Ponle Pekun if I don’t say it enough, I am super-duper proud of you… And so you get chocolate cupcakes as after school treats today.
If I had the platform, I will scream it from the highest peaks… You make me prouder every day and your perfect imperfections remind me of how far we have come… You are both the best thing I will ever do.
Bravo on finishing kindergarten and here’s to a wonderful summer and even better 1st grade. Your best days are ahead of you.
Thank you again Mrs. Miller, Mrs. Rubin. Go Woods Creek!!
I cried for another few minutes, dried my eyes, and walked into the office building ready to take on the day…today’s grace comes from their loud laughs last night expressing how excited they are about the last day of school…giggling about their experiences, and friends…whispering as they doze off to slumber that I am the best mom they ever had…
What we have become these past six years.
Every painful tear, childish tantrum, silly laugh, provoked smack, back rubs, and grateful smile. Every pause and silence deeply jolted by magnifying screeches and falling noises is our story as a family. It is what we have become these past six years…what we will continue to be…
Having you both has brought us into ourselves slowly but most certainly. Love for you brings the reality of what we have become to the forefront of our minds. It brings a reminder always that family is the foundation of who we are, who we want to be…who we want you both to be.
Kind in every possible way
What we have become these past six years is nothing short of family. Nothing short of love… if ever there is anything you learn from me (mom) or your dad, it is that love is true, it is kind. Let love rule your hearts and kindness guide your thoughts. Let it embolden you both to truth and integrity.
Let the laughter of late night tickles propel you to lasting joys, let the best back massages soothe your hearts to rest… let it remind you of the comfort that is family.
Let our kisses and words be always in your hearts long after they are said…let them remind you what we have become these past six years…what we continue to be… let them uphold you in wisdom.
Let the stern talks and tough looks coupled with resounding NOs and time out sessions help you to understand discipline and life…the toughness it can be…the downs it can bring…let them help you to understand times and seasons…life while not always pleasant is still a blessing.
Let the grateful smiles and lingering I love you remind you that you are loved yesterday, today, tomorrow, and always…your very presence speaks love…how can it not…your infectious sweet smiles spell LOVE.
Ponle, let confidence continue to find you with genuine smiles and carefree laughter, let innocence guide you with instinct and caution. Let grace light your path always. Let wisdom raise you.
Pekun, embrace your heart’s shy tendencies, yet hold your head high knowing there is so much inside you. Smile as often as your heart wants, let nothing hold you back. Grace goes always ahead of you and your sister to hold you both strong.
Find courage in who you both are, and as always LOVE each other loudly and boldly. There would be no better best friend than both of you together as sisters and friends…both of you together is what we have become these past six years…what we continue to be…Family.
Tears find their way to my heart every year as I write these things…I think it is love pouring from me…reminding me what such immense blessings you both are…what such great and unmerited graces were bestowed on me…
Sometimes I think it is fear pouring out…fear that can come with being a parent, a mom…a role model to the biggest treasures in one’s life…fear of uncertainty…fear that I am not doing it right…fear that I am overdoing it…fear that pushes me to faith…
Faith which pulls, and propels me into a gracious reflection of what we have become these past six years…what we are…what we continue to be… it is nothing short of family…a most comforting foundation…a most assuring grace… a redefining joy…a dignifying love.
HAPPY SIXTH BIRTHDAY P.K.
HAPPY SIXTH BIRTHDAY P.J.
How I miss the baby days…so I play voice recordings and videos to soak those days all in
How I anticipate the growing years…so I make videos and write notes to prepare us for the life ahead.
Nothing we can give you could ever tell how much we adore and love you…my heart beats which each note typed, each thought of you both…
I pray for many more years of Grace, strength, laughter, great health, wisdom, and joyful bliss.
I love you to the ends of the earth and beyond…you are the best thing I could ever do.
Forever and always,
I continue to write for and to the girls, and every year since they turned 1 i have written something to them for their birthday. I hope never to stop :).
I love older men
Not the creepy ones
But the ones with silver hair
Whose golden smiles warm many hearts
And protect little ones
I love older men
Not the creepy ones
But the ones with wisdom eyes
Whose wrinkle(s) tell a truth
And reflect the calm of dusk
I love older men with silver hair
Whose golden smiles warm many hearts
Older men with silver hair
Who look exactly like you
I love older men
You the most of all
She snores lightly on as I watch adoringly