Tag Archives: God

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I am the dream(there is still far to go)

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Excerpt from a WIP poem titled: I will teach my daughters. A list of things I will teach my twin daughters.

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Thoughts

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Thoughts

Grief can be a very difficult thing, tricky to navigate and overcome. It is also a reality check.

Over the past month, I have wallowed in pain as I try to face what is the new norm of no mom, no dad.

My siblings and I cling now to Grace to help us walk head held high through the next phases of our lives.

One thing I have realized is that time, as it is expected moves on despite your desire for it to pause… stop.

I also know with certainty and conviction that God is still good, even when my heart hurts… my voice shakes, and the tears fall.

Last week, we gave my dad a most befitting and beautiful home going like he would have wanted. We honored his memory with our entirety supported by Grace.

Good friends and families showed up in ways that left me personally embarrassed. I stood in the midst of the overwhelming love, and asked God why he loved on us this heavily through these good people.

Daddy is no doubt proud and as always content that we loved him in life and death.

My confidence over the next chapter, although the one with my dad in it could never be closed, is that daddy lived well, gave his heart to Jesus again and now he is in Heaven’s rest.

I believe the finality is on this side… we will see him again saved, whole, and finally free. We hold on to this comfort. We hold on firmly to this peace.

Throughout the past week there were things I saw and heard that I wanted to share with him like was our usual interaction… I believe Heaven carried them to him for me.

An old neighbor gave the most beautiful testimony about daddy, things we didn’t even know about. Acts of kindness my dad offered and never spoke of.

My siblings and I will miss him painfully, we already do; but the memories and testimonies of his life help to hold on. God’s peace now strong more than ever will help us to uphold his legacy of love, and oneness. We will stand united together by God’s grace.

To all of our relatives distant and close, great friends and loved ones who supported and loved on us during these times; we owe you a great debt that only Grace can repay.

Your every phone call, messages, gifts, and more is duly noted and forever appreciated.

May your every prayer be met with Heaven’s peace as Jesus shows up for your every need. Amen!

May your end be better, sweeter, and far more glorious than your beginning. Amen!

God honor, bless, and lift you up in Jesus name. Amen.

Daddy, such joy to have known you and being your children in life and even now when you are gone. We love you without concern.

Thank you.

4/25/18 12:57pm

Always and Forever

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If there’s anyone who knows me then they know how deeply I love my dad, and the pride in my heart that I was his daughter.

Yesterday, my heart crashed inside when I got the news I still can’t bring myself to say.

To know my dad is to love him, he was wonderful, and good. It hurt me even more because I wasn’t there to love on him abundantly one last time. I had the plans but God had other plans.

I take comfort in my last image of him, and imagine my arms around him, and I whisper “I love you, and thank you.”

My dad did what many couldn’t, and he had no expectations for doing them. I hope he knows how much I love, adore, admire, and respect him. I hope he knows how grateful I am for everything. How fortunate to have been raised by him.

I learnt and saw tender love from my dad. The kindness of heart, and generosity of spirit. He was truly remarkable and unashamed in his love of us.

I remember listening to the radio as a little girl with him, and us trying to pronounce “Alabama.” I remember him sitting with his books and watching his granddaughters.

To know my dad is to love him. He was selfless, and good.

And while my heart is broken over this burning pain, I know in time it will get better. I also know I will sorely terribly miss him.

I am not alone in my feelings… my siblings’ hearts echo these same thoughts. We were most fortunate of children to have had him.

I hold on to all the great memories and God, were there so many…even towards the end.

I’m not sure how heaven works but he is now reconciled with his wife after 17 years of being without.

Daddy,

I have known and loved great men. The most of all you.

My heart holds you in its beats always and forever. Thank you!

Love profound

Your daughter and friend.

3/23/18 6:11am