Me

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Thoughts

Grief can be a very difficult thing, tricky to navigate and overcome. It is also a reality check.

Over the past month, I have wallowed in pain as I try to face what is the new norm of no mom, no dad.

My siblings and I cling now to Grace to help us walk head held high through the next phases of our lives.

One thing I have realized is that time, as it is expected moves on despite your desire for it to pause… stop.

I also know with certainty and conviction that God is still good, even when my heart hurts… my voice shakes, and the tears fall.

Last week, we gave my dad a most befitting and beautiful home going like he would have wanted. We honored his memory with our entirety supported by Grace.

Good friends and families showed up in ways that left me personally embarrassed. I stood in the midst of the overwhelming love, and asked God why he loved on us this heavily through these good people.

Daddy is no doubt proud and as always content that we loved him in life and death.

My confidence over the next chapter, although the one with my dad in it could never be closed, is that daddy lived well, gave his heart to Jesus again and now he is in Heaven’s rest.

I believe the finality is on this side… we will see him again saved, whole, and finally free. We hold on to this comfort. We hold on firmly to this peace.

Throughout the past week there were things I saw and heard that I wanted to share with him like was our usual interaction… I believe Heaven carried them to him for me.

An old neighbor gave the most beautiful testimony about daddy, things we didn’t even know about. Acts of kindness my dad offered and never spoke of.

My siblings and I will miss him painfully, we already do; but the memories and testimonies of his life help to hold on. God’s peace now strong more than ever will help us to uphold his legacy of love, and oneness. We will stand united together by God’s grace.

To all of our relatives distant and close, great friends and loved ones who supported and loved on us during these times; we owe you a great debt that only Grace can repay.

Your every phone call, messages, gifts, and more is duly noted and forever appreciated.

May your every prayer be met with Heaven’s peace as Jesus shows up for your every need. Amen!

May your end be better, sweeter, and far more glorious than your beginning. Amen!

God honor, bless, and lift you up in Jesus name. Amen.

Daddy, such joy to have known you and being your children in life and even now when you are gone. We love you without concern.

Thank you.

4/25/18 12:57pm

2.8.2001

In The Face Of War

In the face of the war…
There are no sore losers…
Nor are there great winners
Not the one whose body hangs highest in the pile…
Lord in his life…
A mere body in death

There are no winners…
In the face of war…
Not the one left desolate at 10
To the echoes of dust and death
He must now learn to live
A child at the start of war
Soon he will be a casualty or the war’s lord

Yellow flowers know the same fate
Blood dripping red in their roots
Trampled fast before a chance at nature’s law…

Generations to come will no doubt hear of the scars
Tales of war on the faces of their history…

*Praying for the people of Kenya*

How I Feel

I like how I feel on chilly nights like this
When I crawl up in bed
Next to your warmth

Winter Is So Cold

I bear the weighted burden of these cold days in my heart
Crawling through January and December days as a shadow in white snow
Peace albeit dark and sad trailing my labored and frozen steps

Mother Nature Weeps

Mother Nature weeps
Her eyes of comfort and compassion growing dim
Her beloved and children from all corners turning on themselves
Turning on her and her beauty
Trees cut down
Built bridges and bushes burning deep wild and free

Devastation and war in the most innocent of places
Death on the rise as greed and lust flow free
With heavy blood now easily shed

Childhood has lost its innocence
Old age knows now only disdain
Hate is now on the rise as war strides high as power
The need to see and hear overcome by guns and drugs

Peace now on the back burner
Evil and anger
Rape and malice
Roaming as lords and kings among trees and leaves
Whispering deceit blaspheme and incurable incest
Humanity is fast dying

Love lost in the heart of mankind